Only tangentially related, but if Taco Bell makes you shit like mad, you probably have wayyyyyy too little fiber in your normal diet. Beans, lentils, and general legumes are a cheap and easy source thats also protein!
perhaps theyd be happy that their descendants can poop for as long as they need and even entertain themselves in the process without the fear of predators?
I dont understand how you can sit on the toilet longer than absolutely necessary. As soon as the fecal abomination leaves my quivering rectum I need to immediately cleanse the area. If you just sit there, smears of wretched sludge will be festering upon your skin and become matted in the butthole hair. I just shit as fast as possible and then shower immediately.
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